Bye Bye Christmas!

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse....nothing was open for my dads drunk hungry belly. Christmas eve EVE, I worked until midnight to make some extra cash for Christmas gifts. My brother drove me into work so I was without a car, I had to relive my teenage years when I had to call my parents and beg for a ride. Except this time was much different, roles had suddenly been reversed. My parents were more than willing to come pick me up but failed to mention some minor details. After I hopped into my dads Lexus, I noticed we were driving the opposite direction from where my house was. As we pulled up to the Limp Lizard, I realized what was going on...payback! This was for all the years I called my parents after having a couple too many drinks at 2am to come pick me up from Amanda's house, 20min away when they had to get up just 4 hours later to get ready for work! This explains why my father and I didn't get along throughout my high school years!!

All I wanted to do was go home to my nice warm shower, my queen size bed and my brand new 500count thread Vera Wang sheets that I would wrap myself up in a cocoon with. But I guess this was not written in the books for me on this particular night. My parents wanted to meet their friends out at a bar called the Limp Lizard. I didn't even have my id so it's not like I could have went to another bar to meet my friends while they hung out with theirs since I still get id'd everywhere I go! So I was stuck at the Limp Lizard with my already half in the bag father and my social butterfly mother. I was not at all resentful that I had to drive them home from the bar or even hang out with them at the bar, I was more upset at the fact that I would not be getting my beauty sleep for our eventful weekend.

Anyway, the night unraveled and I ended up having a blast (which is inevitable with my parents and their friends). The majority of the stories from this night are too obscene to share! Just when I thought the night was coming to an end, as we hopped in the car my father directed us to the nearest golden arches. After a night of drinking he needed some grease in his belly, of course this appalled my mother and I since we are really healthy eaters. We thought his efforts had failed when we stopped at the nearest drive-thru heart attack and it was closed. We were soon mistaken as my father persistently forced us to drive him to the next closest McDonalds which was 20min away. Now, keep in mind, it had just snowed in Syracuse and the roads were slick and officers were out parading the streets for drunk drivers yet my dad found none of this relevant in his quest to find Ronald. You know society has a problem when the drive-thru at Mickey D's was packed at 1am on the night before Christmas eve when everyone should be fasting and preparing for the Christmas feast! Granted, we were one of these cars waiting in line to suffice papa carl with an angus burger and a large milk shake. He failed at requesting for a happy meal with a race car toy and when he demanded to speak to Ronald we were lucky he even was able to order anything at all when the less than happy McDonalds employee slammed the drive-thru window in his face.

When my bed, myself and Vera Wang sheets were finally reunited, the sound of my father echoing throughout the house as he slurped down what remained of his McDonalds milkshake will remain in my memory as I lay my head to rest. Thank you dad for my Christmas time memory this year. I would love to hear anyone who had a similar experience...