BFFE

For the most part, my blogs have been reserved and PG rated. My ideas mostly come from news, current events and from my colleagues at work. But this morning I took a phone call that will transform this blog: Introducing the stories of my crazed friend Amanda!

There is only one person on this planet who will never take offensive to anything I put on the Internet, and that is my loyal best friend A Man Duh! I met this girl when I was only just 4 years old and we were kicking around the soccer ball, mostly because our parents wanted to get rid of us an hour of the day so sent us to join a soccer team. Now, to paint you a picture of my dear friend Amanda, she speaks her mind in any situation, doesn't ever hold anything back and could care less what others think of her, which is the main reason why we have continued to be best friends. At her mothers 40th birthday party this year Amanda stole the microphone from the band and gracefully slurred out the words of gratitude towards her mother for having her when she was only 16 years old so that she could be drunk at her 40th birthday party. Needless to say, Grandma left shortly after this and Amanda woke up the next morning to a stolen Willie Nelson album playing in the background.

Now that you know a little bit about Amanda, you can only imagine what sort of trouble we got ourselves into when we were growing up, this is the main reason why I am dreading having children of my own in fear that I would not be able to handle a mini-me especially if she found an Amanda in this world! Anyways, our families quickly became friends and soon we were going on vacations together. We would rent a cabin in the Adirondacks for a week in the winter to snowmobile and a week in the summer to jet ski. This was the first year we starting going together and I was so looking forward to spending a week with my best friend, because before she came I was really bored without any T.V. or cell phone! The minute we got there we already had managed to get into an argument with the 'rents about where we were going to sleep. You have to remember, we were 13 year old princesses, dah! We had to have the best room! For some reason, we managed to get away with this! I think after 13 years of arguing, our parents chose to pick their battles and let us have the master bedroom. Now I know why my father had to drink so much; father, I am to blame for your drinking habits, this I now know!

Amanda and I spent every chance we could getting away from our parents, just like any typical 13 year old girls would. After the first day of locking ourselves in the master suite, we needed to find something else to do. Twix bars and girl talk wasn't going to cut it for the week. Boredom is to blame for our mischievous behavior, and partly because we were boy crazy. But we came up with this genius plan! Our brothers had been playing with these walkie talkies the day before and we knew that we could pick up other stations on them. So we quickly stole the walkie talkies and went back to our master suite. We spent a good hour of the day trying to figure out how to use them when finally we picked up another station. To our luck it was a couple of boys looking for a couple of girls! Now, another dynamic you have to know about mine and Amanda's relationship is that she usually comes up with a dumb idea and I am gullible enough to believe it. She told these boys where our cabin was, since they told us they were hours away. This completly went against what our fathers told us to do but being stubborn princesses, no one told us what to do! Can you imagine this outcome??

Shortly after, we were forced to leave the walkie talkie adventure for some less exciting activity, dinner with the fam! Our attitude must have been apparent and it didn't take the dads long enough to figure out what we had been doing  couped up in the bedroom all day long. Dad, must give credit when credit is due and you were always successful in figuring out my schemes. Another thing you need to know about this story is that my brother was having some digestive problems on this particular day. My father had to find a plunger at a near by drug store and just so happened to still have it in his hand (ew gross) but I believe this strategic move was only to gross us out! Now, just as we were about to get the lecture, we heard some young boys voices. We so hoped that our prince charmings were coming to sweep us away to our castle awaiting.....

With one blink of the eye, both of our fathers had already managed to sprint down the stairs and began to run after these boys, whom happened to be on bikes at the time. Now, this was not an easy task for my father partly because of his Heineken belly and his short stubby legs, but kudos to the old man for I have never seen him run so fast! Imagine this site: two grown men chasing three young teenage boys through a campsite with a plunger. Well, needless to say the plunger man won this battle because in the next moment one of the boys looked behind him to observe our crazed dads and was unable to notice the stationed grill that awaited his bicycle. He soon lay on the grass in front of the grill with his bike on top of him, handle bars bent, and two angry dads over his head...

Dear Annonymus Teenage Boy:
I am sorry you were dumb enough to mess with two daddy's little princesses. Next time bring your horse and carriage.
Sincerly,
This is only the beginning...